it was only now when i'm content
with my own existence that i begin
to truly understand what it means
to be alone

there are worse things than being alone
but it takes years to realize that
and then it's too late
and there's nothing worse than too late

although too late brings with it
understanding, recognizing
and there's nothing worse
than understanding your position
in the world
and that that position isn't
what it's all cracked up to be

i suppose the world is just a pile of correlations
relationships created by chance and probability
where success is a chain of events
that is given to us by chance,
which are created by chance
and when we attempt to measure that chance
there is no finite way to realize that it even
exists

and there's nothing worse than uncertainty
which throws us into the cold, alone
battling against that probability
the chance to allow our minds to even recognize probability
(by probability we came to know of our fate)

then we realize our position in the world
can only to be freed by chance
a chance that is infinitely impossible
and recognizable only
by happenchance