it's days like this
when everything goes right
except the thing you want to go right
that you just want to throw up your hands
and your guts and just give up

it's days like this
when you realize when someone
you gave your life to, and trusted
was just manipulating you, or, rather
hiding their feelings by avoiding it
by giving consecration as a scapegoat
and by giving religion as an excuse
to be less godlike.

but it's these fucking days
when you decide to be the one
who won't hide feelings
who won't fall prey
to the snares set for those
who are just willing to open up
themselves and give everything

the amazing irony is that
being the one that is decisive
and honest, and forward
also has the consequence of being the one
who rips his own soul out
and destroys his own heart
in the process
because you love them enough
to let them go
but you don't love yourself enough
to keep trying