well
rarely I post with clarity
and rarely do I express myself
in plain speech, because
I feel like my plain speech cannot
reflect the plainness of my thoughts
and emotions

but I want to come clean
I have severe anxiety and MDD
and often I feel it contributes to
my creativity and my thoughtfulness
but after this hell of a weekend
after this horrid rollercoaster of emotions
that never ends, even though
I want to get off

I once said that this last year back
the world wants to let me know who is boss
well now I feel like everything wants to
put me in my place.
this week was literal hell.

and I want out of this.
all of this.
I can't let things go.
I can't let things go.
yet I so want to