i obsess over the littlest things

my largest failures

and realizing that i can't ever be

or really do what i wanted to do

it's hard to be honest with yourself

to tear your own heart out

to embrace your own imperfections

and the scold yourself for your faults

but the thing is 

when you are

i'm not sure if it really is beneficial

all you do is disillusion yourself

away from your created reality of security

and abandon yourself to the alone

and that alone is isolating

demoralizing, alienating 

until your hands shake out of fear

that your mind will scold them

for the clumsy things they do